In the media center.

Im not looking up shit about martin luther king. fuck that.

Stop the Bullying, Toward Straight and Gay People

Today at school we watched a video about a kid being harassed by his peers because he is accused of being gay.  The acting sucked, the quality of the film was terrible, and the sound effects were completely horrendous.  Yet at the end of the video, I found myself tearing up.  My reaction had nothing to do with how I viewed the video through my eyes, but how it made me feel deep in my heart.

  People are letting this bullying thing turn into a gay pride thing, but it’s not just about that. People need to open their eyes to ALL kinds of bullying, because it can happen to anyone, even me. 

I was so young when I was bullied in such a terrible way.  I was only in sixth grade when my two “best friends” turned on me and completely ruined my life.  I would come home from school crying everyday about the aweful things these girls said to me, and things they said ABOUT me.  They would play aweful games with me, singling me out and making me feel like a creep, they would tell my other friends that they shouldn’t be friends with me, they started nasty rumors about me, they would make prank phonecalls to me everynight making me feel like an aweful, pathetic person, and they made fun of me for things that weren’t even true! 

I was so alone, I had not a single friend, that I turned to cutting myself.  Now, for the rest of my life, my arms are completely covered in scars.  When my parents would ask me about them, I would make up ridiculous excuses, like that I was scratching myself in my sleep or my cat scratched me.  My mom caught on right away though, and confronted me about it.  I told her everything, I completely came clean, and she gave me kindhearted advice to try and help me get throught that terrible year. 

However, once you’re actually with the bullies, it’s extremely difficult to preach the whole “sticks-and-stones” shpeel, and so the bullying went on, getting worse every day.  I didn’t know what I did to deserve all this harassement and this hurt me even more.  I would pray to god everynight begging him to forgive me for whatever I did to deserve what was happening to me and to just let it stop. 

When prayers proved not to work, I turned to a much nore efficient solution to my problem.  When an eleven-year-old is thinking about killing herself that just spells trouble.  I didn’t tell anyone how I felt, I just bottled up all of my emotions until they burst and I was ready to kill myself.  Everyday for about a month I spent hours and hours trying to figure out the perfect way to go.  I would even pick up my favorite belt and hook it up just the right way in my closet, but I was too scared. 

One day, however, after a bad day of being bullied, I came home with the guts to do it, completely out of the blue.  I got all ready and was in the process of writing my note out when in my head I saw(and this sounds really cheesy)what my future could be, that I had so much more ahead of me, that this was just a bump in the road.  If I went through with this, I would just be giving those terrible little girls the satisfaction of knowing they beat me.  And besides, if I went through with it, I could never go to college, get married, have kids, or anything!  I would just be dead, after only a decade of life.

So I didn’t do it.  I went back to school and ignored those two bitches who almost broke my stride, and I refused to give them the satisfaction that taunting me and getting a negative reaction gave them.  Eventually they stopped, and by the next year I had new friends, ones I could count on.  Since then I’ve been happy and if you asked me about suicide I couldn’t even consider it.

I know this little rant pobably seemed dragged out, boring, and too personal.  I don’t know what kind of effect it had on you, but I hope you’ll get this out of it: just because a person isn’t gay, bullying them can still have the exact same effect.  You need to watch out for it in your surroundings.  Anyone can be bullied, even enough to lead the person to death! It only takes one positive and comment to save a life. Thank youu:]

Anonymous asked: r u still goin out w that kid?

yesss i am:]